The baby is finally almost here and yet I want the chance to
change my mind. I find myself remembering my first “blind” date –
feeling the excitement of what could be and the terror of
what might be. Wanting to call it off and yet knowing it is too late.
I stare at the intruder down the barrel of my gun and wonder if
there exists a place in me that can kill another human being.
An explosion sounds as I plummet into the great abyss that
just opened in my soul.
Remember the mighty voice
that held high the iron cross,
preaching such pride in nation and race.
Remember the way it began
with parades and gold stars,
yet soon came the sound of shattering glass.
Remember the despair
as cattle cars slammed shut,
and darkness surrounded the bitter cold.
Remember skull-like faces
behind the barbed wire fences,
and the smell of disease and rotting flesh.
Remember the screams
within deadly showers
and pits of naked corpses climbing toward the sky.
Remember the survivors
for this is what they have seen.
They have been through the bowels of hell
and made it back again.
Remember it all
so that none will forget;
we think it could never happen now,
yet we thought it could never happen then.
I am afraid. He holds me and I can face it.
I am unsure. He takes my hand and I can make it
I am sad. He kisses my tears and I can bear it.
I am happy. He dances with me and I can share it.
I am angry. He listens to me and I can release it.
I am alone.
He comes to me and I cannot remember it.
Two figures appear and move through the station
unaware of the activity around them.
Clouds issue forth from panting steam engines
surrounding them both as if to slow their progress,
while whistles and boarding calls pull them along.
Others rush past embracing their loved ones
filling the air with joy and excitement.
The two watch with longing yet quickly move past
as they swallow the sadness within them.
An eternity has past before they reach the platform
but it seems too soon for them,
and, after summoning the strength, one figure boards.
The other now stands alone.