Home Invasion….Maybe not.

In the middle of the night the other night I was woken up by what I could have sworn was our doorbell. Being as it was 3:15 am I did what any brave woman such as myself would do – I froze. And held my breath….

Eventually, I began the process of starting up the tiny part of my brain where rational thoughts reside.

Rational brain:  Ok. The dogs didn’t bark, so it couldn’t have been the doorbell, it was just a dream. Go back to sleep.

Diana brain:  The bedroom door is mostly closed and the dogs are under the blankets fast asleep. It is possible that they did not hear the doorbell.

Rational brain:  What dog ever doesn’t hear a doorbell?? Besides, even if it was the doorbell, whoever it was is gone now.

Diana brain:  There have been those recent home invasions not far from here and they said they always knock or ring the doorbell first. Since they didn’t hear dogs barking, they are now breaking into our house.  Did I just hear something??

Rational brain:  No. It is raining outside. All you hear is the wind and the rain hitting the windows.

Diana brain:  I wonder if the gates are still locked?

Rational brain:  The gates are always locked.

Diana brain:  If they aren’t locked they can come in the backyard and get in the back door where no one will see them.

Rational brain:  The motion detector light will come on if they walk on the back porch.

Diana brain:  What was that??

Rational brain:  What was what??  If you are so scared, then just go close the bedroom door and lock it.

Diana brain:  (staring intently at the partially opened bedroom door) What if I get over there and the bad guy is there and shoots me??

Rational brain:  Seriously?  This is not a movie.  You would have heard something by now if someone had broken in the house.

Diana brain:  Ok. On the count of 3 I’m going to run over there, shut the door and lock it. I can do this…

Rational brain:  Oh just get up and do it already!

[door is now closed and locked]

Diana brain:  Ok. I did it. I wonder if the bad guys heard me shut the door?  If they did they are going to be coming over here and trying to get in the bedroom.  They will be walking up to the door any second now. [I am now intently watching the light coming in under the doorway for shadows]

Rational brain:  Seriously??  It is time to wake up the hubby. He will make you feel better and calm you down.

Diana brain:  What if I wake him up and he insists on going to check out the house and the bad guys get him and kill him? Then they will come get me and kill me.

Rational brain:  Again, seriously??  Just wake him up.

Diana brain: Ok.

[tap tap tap. Pause. Tap tap tap. Pause. Shake shake. Pause.]

He moves slightly.

Diana brain:  It’s working. He’s waking up!

Rational brain:  Of course he’s waking up – you are shaking him.

[shake shake. Pause.]

Hubby: What’s the matter baby?

I give him the full story of the bad guys that have probably entered our home and are now on their way to our bedroom to kill us.

Hubby:  The dogs would have barked if it was the doorbell.

Rational brain:  I told you.

Hubby:  Do you want me to go check out the house so you feel better?

Me: No! (Panic rising inside me) Don’t open the door!

Hubby:  (sensing my very real panic) Ok. Well, it’s ok baby. No one is in the house. You just hear the rain and the wind.

Rational brain:  Again – I told you.

Hubby:  I will protect you. I just have to go to the bathroom first.

Me:  No. Don’t leave me.

Hubby: I’m just going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.

[He did survive his trip to the bathroom and came back to protect me. He wrapped himself all around me like a human shield/cocoon type thing]

I try again to calm down and go back to sleep when a large wind kicks up and the house creaks and I jump 3 feet! Waking my poor hubby up again.

Hubby:  It is just the wind. Sweetie, what can I do to make you feel safe and calm again?

Me:  Make it day time and us still alive.

[It was at this point that he, for some reason, suggested that perhaps I might want to take a Xanax]

Me:  No. I will never be able to get up for work if I take that.

[I again attempt to calm down and fall asleep. Then my brain kicked in once again]

Diana brain:  If I fall asleep, that is when they will come into the bedroom and kill us.  If they kill us both, no one will know we are dead. Then, on Friday, when Caleb comes home from his Dad’s, he will find us brutally murdered. He will be scarred for life. I don’t want him to live with that.  I cannot fall asleep….

Rational brain:  Maybe a Xanax is not a bad idea…..

Have you ever been woken up by a noise at night and been too scared to go back to sleep?
What did you do?

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